TRANSCENDING PRIDE OVER PEACE

 

 

I learned once in a profound way to never leave "incomplete" with another person.

 

So I can only hope if you have a friend, a sibling, a former lover, a current one, a boss, someone that you have regrets over things said or done, unresolved anger, broken hearts, unfair treatment - talk, bring courage, make amends, heal, make peace, forgive, ask for forgiveness.  I have watched deep friendships just end.  Families break up.  That may happen.  But don't let the cause be pride. 

 

Pride destroys life.  Humility gives life. Say what you need to say.  Heal old wounds.  Reach out.  It's NEVER too late.  Nothing was ever too bad to find some way to create a context and say whatever you need to say to make peace.   And I have even learned that from victims of abuse and incest.  Healing the past, heals you.  We may never have control over the other person's reaction, but we can find peace.  And maybe, we can give them the gift of peace.  No one knows.  So don't let relationships wither without closing the circle. 

 

This is my prayer for you. 

 

I watch my beautiful, tender soul and heart of a teen.  All of her pureness, her heart are so open that it's if she has no skin around it.  As she struggles letting go of an important friendship with a girl she adored and adored her - but she was left wounded  constantly when they were together - it just happens in some relationships.  Her pain inspires this post.  For some of these relationships: friends, old lovers, ex-spouses, whatever, you can make peace, you can heal wounds, you can both leave in tact and whole and it doesn't have to mean you are meant to be friends, etc.  It just may be better not to be.  But it may be a chance to part with peace.  And healing and hearts in tact. Or it may be a chance to reconnect.

 

 

My heartbreak is I struggle to do this with my husband..  Yes, I am lost and adrift and pride pulls me further away from shore and tossed on the seas.  And his pride does the same with him - and it's all for the petty stuff in the bigger scheme of things.  But like some couples who are literally fighting to   I am worn down.  And I am lonely beyond words.  How ironic.  How do you love someone so deeply and feel so lonely, so worn down by, and so disconnected.  He's the best man I know.  He is a knight on a white horse who makes miracles for his beautiful daughters.  He loves me deeply.  But he has left me so often criticized, facing his constant anger and feeling bad.  And I am just feeling like I need to run away. We spend so much time bickering over the small stuff that hurts and isolates because we are both fighting "for" the big things - our daughter's safety, loving them, guiding them, paying the bills and freaking over paying for high schools, colleges and retirement.  As one person said in all the years she's worked with us and our daughter, the one thing she noticed about us is that we were so strung out with obligations that we had no peace.  No peace in our lives.  As individuals.  As a couple.  So I pray I can do with him all I just shared that is critical to life with others.  And I will - and it will take time.  And with all of the above, it boils down to one thing:  Pride.  Is pride really worth every moment it steals from you and from your being?